Almost every post ends in “Just. Keep. Moving” and that’s because it is at the core of why Running for Resilience started. So in an effort to help you understand the goal of Running for Resilience a bit more and why I'm such a strong believer in it, I’ve written the following.
As you might have already seen in “My Story”, my Dad committed suicide in 2010. What I hadn't shared initially is that prior to his death, I had only spoken to him sparingly. Without going into too much detail, he had disappointed me considerably, and at the time, I believed the best course of action was to give myself some space.
Besides his final voice message where he told me that he loved me, some of the last words I heard him say were:
“I know you’re disappointed in me, Matt. I just hope you can judge me on all of the things that I’ve done and not just the bad”
I now know the weight that this outlook can have and in the aftermath of my Dad’s death, I made a promise to myself that I would always make decisions with the ultimate goal and outcome ideals in mind.
“I know you’re disappointed in me, Matt. I just hope you can judge me on all of the things that I’ve done and not just the bad”
I now know the weight that this outlook can have and in the aftermath of my Dad’s death, I made a promise to myself that I would always make decisions with the ultimate goal and outcome ideals in mind.
Throughout the weeks and months following his death, I went to the gym, went for runs, caught up with my mates, went back to work and really… just got on with things, which worked. The reality was that I had assumed a level of guilt which then gave me a feeling of control in that if I adopted and applied this new mindset, I would be free of any future struggle. This new mindset gave me an impression that if you approached life in the right way, you could avoid pain.
And so the initial idea that you can just keep moving was born… but in late 2018, my tried and proven foundational belief was shattered when my Mum was diagnosed with stage 3-4 ovarian cancer. The idea that everything would be okay as long as you did everything in your control for things to be okay, was thrown out the window.
I was not only facing the prospect of losing another parent, I was facing it without my unwavering belief that everything would work out. As I’ve written before, the culmination of potentially unaddressed trauma, the unknowns around my Mum’s prognosis and the challenge to my belief structure resulted in what was the hardest period of my life.
For a time, I would constantly feel anxious, worry about things outside of my control going wrong and I would even start to question whether I myself was sick. Perhaps most frustrating of all was that I was constantly aware of this irrationality.
Fortunately, I had 9 years of “Just. Keep. Moving.” practice, which in the moments of reprieve crept through and I was able to get moving. It didn’t ‘fix’ things, but every time I came back from a run, finished a gym session or completed a task, I would have moments of clarity where I would understand what I was facing.
Particularly, with a flow of endorphins after exercise, I would reflect and compare how I felt at the time to how I felt before. I would also see how my Mum approached her battle with cancer which gave me a bit of perspective and both reflections served as proof to me that despite going through an incredibly tough period, I could still feel like smiling and have an optimistic outlook on life.
And so... “Just. Keep. Moving” was reborn!
The reborn mindset was much the same as before but with a new emphasis on acknowledging that life will kick you in the teeth sometimes. If you can accept this, keep moving and never give up, regardless of what you're facing, you will come out the other side stronger and more appreciative of all the good that exists in your life.
Keeping moving isn’t just exercise, it’s about doing anything that can add value to your life. Because whilst you might not think you’re feeling any better, the reality is that every step taken to improve your life is exactly that, a step taken.
There are days where you will feel awful and there are obvious caveats for rest and giving yourself a break. But wherever you can, however you can, you will always be proud of yourself and you will always be in a comparatively better position when you get on with things and “Just. Keep. Moving.”
As I touched on earlier, you don’t keep moving to ignore the struggle you’re experiencing, you keep moving despite it. Acknowledge what the struggle is, accept your locus of control and keep moving in the meantime. It’s not so much a fool-proof plan as it is a beneficial mindset.
There will be times where adjustments are needed, but if you hit things with a positive mindset and just keep moving through exercise, chores, catching up with friends, seeking help or anything else that helps move you forward, you’ll be stronger for it and it will only be a matter of time before things get better.
It’s my belief that the people who apply and adapt this kind of mindset to their own beliefs will be more resilient and as a result, they will be more capable of overcoming whatever struggle they might face.
The goal of Running for Resilience is therefore to spread the message of Just. Keep. Moving. as far as possible so that it can influence at least one person and maybe save their life.
Thanks for reading,
Matt.
Matt.
